Hello and welcome back
A huge welcome to my new readers and old alike.
***This blog contains adult topics and adult language so please be mindful***
Today's blog discusses dating/internet dating.
As a thirty-something in an ever-increasing world where people care less about others with the
"throw away society"
we have become and let's not bullshit we have become like that.
It's hard to even know where to begin with dating.
We've all been there and done that at some point in our lives.
I am the kind of girl that wears my heart on my sleeve, literally, I have them tattooed on my left wrist.
They are there for personal reasons but believe me I was judged on those by many but I will get onto that later on.
I am not even sure where to begin.
Modern times for me means I work and write my blog. When not doing that I am out and about seeing friends and doing things for my brand.
I have little time to waste and always plan ahead.
This is not uncommon that people have little time to do other things so internet dating seemed a good choice.
Like others I am not great at picking up signals, does he like me? Maybe he's just being polite.
So being home, sitting and talking online seemed a reasonable, safe and more gentle approach to what seemed a daunting and lonely world.
I am not talking shite here, these are honest and frankly raw feelings so go with it.
I uploaded some photos, mindful of myself and that the wrong photo/s can give the wrong or even right impression.
So no busty shots, one or two full length maybe and others just of myself.
None of the strange pouting, lots of makeup or pissing it up all over the place.
Sites ask for you to write a bio, a break down of what's what so I did just that.
Not that it went down well.
**This is not what I wrote however**
I'm a modern woman, my own money, my own thoughts and frankly I am able to screw a lightbulb in myself.
I was in fact very honest about myself and gave what I thought was a fair and open view of myself.
Me being honest did not go well and it went to the shitter, men seemed pissed that I can handle myself and my bills.
Dating isn't to find a man to pay my way it was to meet someone nice.
The fact I have my life together, am fairly busy and would like to meet someone for just that to meet someone and no hidden agenda was confusing to these men.
Almost like I ought to be frail, unable to cope and needed a man to complete me and make me happy.
I was already happy, life's really good I just wanted to meet someone to add to something already going well in my life.
Dating is a torture I can do without, even before a "date" guys on this site have decided what's what.
There are types and streams of them.
These are but a few.
Men who want to chat endlessly online that you'll never actually meet.
That more than likely are after an ego boost they also they tend to have no photos.
Who has no photo on a dating site and why would anybody expect to talk to someone they can see without showing themselves?
There are men who are emotionally damaged beyond repair and are bitter.
To the point, it's aggressive, abusive and scary.
"Women just want money and are bitches"
Apparently...
Men who hound you till you have to block them because you won't allow yourself to be taunted with strange messages. Then re-open new accounts to carry on, yep it's true.
You'd think I was making this up wouldn't you believe me I wish I was.
The guy who sits and talks about his x's all night, then the ones who do that and their x's turn up.
Not attractive and a little worrying, fancy meeting the x. Nope, no I don't.
The flip side is they talk about their x's and nasty about them.
If they are doing that about them, they will then do it about you.
Best to get your jacket, be polite and leave.
Or run, just run after being honest that is.
Then there are men that set dates with you, message you endlessly, call you and text you. Date you once and decide you weren't worthy of them and then go on to ignore you.
These are the "victim guys" a simple, I don't think it would work is obviously hard to say even through strings of texts keeping you to your phone was easy.
I found these guys the worst to deal with, yes deal with that's how it is.
The word "victim" is correct because if you dare to ask why they'd not been in touch to at least be polite and let you know it spirals into a weird game.
There's no line, they saw it and laughed at it and thought fuck others and their emotions.
There are some lovely men online don't get me wrong, caring, open men who are genuine. I don't think all men online or otherwise are bad.
It does seem though men online are emotionally damaged and treat people with no regard. I am not even sure they like themselves enough let alone care to be mindful of others.
Broken homes, broken marriages, and cheating is their main complaint.
However that's not a healthy way to begin looking for another woman in your life is it,
Or you'd think anyway.
Safety first though, always meet in a public place where you are familiar with things. Tell people who you are going on a date with, where and what time.
Sites will always stipulate this and rightly so.
Just because you spoke online and felt comfortable that's not always the case!
Stay safe!
Back when I was a teen dating was easy, so simple and less in your face. None of this grinder, plenty of fish etc. You knew more where you stood with people plus there was no social media or mobile phones that cut most nonsense right out.
Now though, it's rife with bullies, liars and wild people who want to fuck on the first date.
Seriously, I was asked to marry someone on the forth..
That's another story for another time.
I ended up cutting my photo down to this one.
You'd think it would gain less attention right?
Doubtful..
Men who'd seen this image before came back at me, not even realizing it was me simply because they message lots of women.
The crux of any dating site or dating means, of course, you are not the only one the other person is talking to.
I've had dates and not with one "type"
I began to lose focus on who was I attracted to, what I wanted and was getting past it all.
I met some genuinely nice guys, who haven't attracted me to me or I wasn't them and remain friends with them and it's nice.
That's how adults with their shit together act, it's quite nice really.
Then there are ones who get pissed and quickly because it did not work even when they are the ones who decide it won't work out.
Just to clear that up
a guy decides he does not think it will work out, which is fine but then gets aggressive.
Don't ask me how I have no idea...
I've had people take my things and hold them ransom, men feel me up when I have said no.
No means no, so I called the police to handle that.
Men mocking me because of my weight, white men question if I am white. Not even sure how you categorize that, and men question every detail about me.
I have never come across being told I write like "one of them" before.
Who are "them" that person went on the tell me to "go back to your own fucking country".
Just to clear that up I am Yorkshire girl, Grandad had a trawler in Hull and I may have foreign blood but so might you also.
I have invested in getting to know a couple and found cracks, serious deep wounding cracks and not from me.
These men are still on the road to "meeting the one" the one ought to be themselves and focusing on getting their life firmly on track before dicking theirs up more and introducing another to it.
I personally feel unless you are ready you ought not to date, invest and let someone take time to be with you if you are not certain you are ready.
It's selfish and indulgent to take some one's time and then cast them aside to say "it's not you it's me.
Clearly, it's you and not me... you took my time and my emotions to make yourself feel better for a while.
Dating sites are not for the weak hearted literally.
It's a brutal game of hopping through hoops.
Giving sex easily and compromising yourself in the hope that someone will be nice and you'll get lucky.
If the person you are talking to inline simply wants sex, which there is nothing wrong with they should at least put it on their bio or let you know when you start talking to them. That way you can make a choice and not be duped into thinking and being lead to think there will be something nice to come from talking etc.
Anyone who was to pretend there would be more dating or a relationship is honestly desperate, filthy and vile nothing more than a sexual predator praying they can fool people into sex to cut them off.
I dated away from dating sites and found most of the above applies but is slightly less frustrating.
Dating men my age means they've been married or got children in some cases they've never cut the marital strings and that's a total turn off.
Hearing the ex-wife is their best friend means they've not let go and don't want to.
I could not imagine anything worse than having to meet the ex more than needed in the street or if they have children together via the children.
I have dealt with crazed x's and never wish to do so again it takes a long time for them get over that their x has moved on and it can get messy.
A new woman in an x's eyes can be a sign of some weird battle of who's the better person.
Turf war and them feeling put out in the cold.
Another sure-fire signs their old relationship is not over for one of them at least.
So dating a man who has no children or has a fair responsibility seems the better option.
I just wanted to meet someone down to earth, open to my life and the quirks. Who was able to understand I am less orthodox than most women and freer.
I am at a loss with it, I am however starting to see the light on what has been staring at me for a very very long time.
That my friends will remain private and not for any blog and is the end of this bizarre path I went on.
***I need to iterate that I had asked men to come forward for this blog, non choose to do so.
I am writing in general terms and nothing in my blog is directed at one person or one circumstance.***
