I wanted to do a follow up on my dating blog
The t-shirt I have on in the photo pretty much sums up my feelings/thoughts and rhetoric
Following the whole
#MeToo
Movement it's really important that men know the line
There is a line
No means no
Sexual harassment isn't a joke
If you think it is you are the problem let alone part of it
I hope you get arrested if you belittle anyone
Emotional abuse isn't okay
Don't make others feel shitty because you can't control yourself
The same applies
Sexual assault isn't okay
Read up learn what
RAPE BY DECEPTION IS
The same applies
The amount of crap I have dealt with what I cannot call dating is unreal and the stories I hear of men thinking they can hound women, at work, on the bus, in bars or even in their own homes is gross
I wanted to write down and go through some things
Things that concern me, make me question men and made me realize the number of men 'dating' are not really looking to date they are looking to use
Men on dating sites are often broken, deeply wounded and are so far gone they'll do anything to please themselves
In no order that's relevant
Dating should consist being polite, so this means saying hello during the day
Showing interest, showing thought and mindfulness
That doesn't, of course, mean either party should bombard anyone, with calls, texts etc etc
A
hello, how are you, I was thinking about you so thought I'd say hello
Is really nice, it's all about the feel-good factor, otherwise why are you dating
(If that's out of the realms, fuck off go away and don't even attempt to bother anyone with your sad excuses)
Dating
Surely you get dressed up?
You make an effort, for yourself and to be like a peacock and show your prowess
I love dressing up nice, I like feeling glam, looking sharp and taking care of myself
So why would anyone turn up in shitty shoes, a work jacket and work cloths?
Then say they are wanting to date?
Bullshit
No one should expect to be told they look nice but it's nice to be nice, it's nice to know someone paid attention to you and made the effort themselves
It's a total let down when you know someone can look nice
(because on their dating profile they were well dressed, they added those photos so you felt attracted to them and was impressed)
Go on call me superficial but then look a tit because we all know first impressions are what we go on
I dare you to lie and bullshit otherwise
Second dates
Always a little less formal
Always a little less tense
Feel good, more so if you didn't what my last date said 'shag' on the first date
which frankly was rank, along with the word 'bants' fine if you are ten years old and on the playground but less if you want to go around calling people who live around you chavs when you sound and act like one yourself
and calling an ex a bitch
That's right dude, I needed to hear that well done
There are meant to be sparks, not cracks
A totally intense instant feeling of wanting
Okay, that might be a little much
However, passion is literally something I am addicted to, a deep hunger for passion
Why else would you even attempt to look
We are all sexual, passion isn't just about sex it's about it all
You don't have to buy me dinner
But you could offer on the first date
Don't sweat it though, I've got my own money
I could pay, you also could have manners
Remember the past is the past
That's where it belongs, there are lessons to be learned of course
But do I want to hear endless tales of 'the bitch I dated
Nope or you slagging off mutual friends that I see and like, not really
Things should be kept light
Don't swear and think it's clever
It's uncomfortable
It's crude and frankly chavtastic
(you're no better than the people you slate!)
Keep it clean
A kiss can be enough
It can be an exhilarating rush
A slight brush well meant to touch of the hand can make that spark feel orgasmic
Yes, I said it and if you didn't ever feel that
Get the fuck out, it's dead and it's time to move on
Don't doormat
Remember manners
Dating doesn't mean you're exclusive
No-one owes you anything
Think you're playing it cool by being a shady as fuck
Player, fuck boy or really just a dick isn't cool
Reply when they message
Be early to a date
Be mindful that your time is valid as is theirs
Get to know the person you date
Find a mutual like, go with it
It's a date, it's meant to make your heart race
Not a heart attack, race, lust and totally bamboozle your mind and emotions
No-one likes a flop!
People had a life before you came into it
They have friends
They dated
They made mistakes
They have things they like, you don't get to change that or make them feel bad
Guess what, if you make people feel bad for life choices when you weren't in the picture you're an abuser
So run folks, run
The reality is everyone wants different things
Not everyone wants to date people with children and that's okay
Not everyone wants children
That's also okay and you don't get to use the 'well I want kids so if we are going to stay together'
That bullying, bribing and emotional blackmail
I lost my son one guy wanted to marry me, me to have a tattoo with his name on, be on my lease and get pregnant within a month
Oh and told me I was crazy after leaving a note on my kitchen table ending it saying he's going to kill himself.
Closed all his social media telling me he's going to hibernate for three months
Okay then, three days later in Ferens walked right up to me and turned to look at a painting
I'll take crazy, go ahead
I have noticed that these guys with huge egos more often than not are on meds
Through them telling me
Look, we all have issues and problems, we are all human but if you don't at least be honest to your flaws why are you dragging someone in, knowing you'll end it mess someone around and make them feel things and lie?
Why would anyone waste their own time and emotions only to leave?
I have had dates where the guy thought it was okay to sexually assult me, only to claim he'd of given me everything
That guy also made me cancel plans with a friend because he was jelous
Demanding I show him the text that I did it
One guy pulled my life apart
Why don't you work more?
Why don't you drive?
Why are you happy with not having more?
What if I left you at this gig all alone?
I ended that, months passed and then found text asking to meet me
This guy also suggested beastality
Yes, you read right and I felt sick
There are more lowlights than highlights and I can't blame the men altogether as I could have walked away
Which I did and I didn't ghost as you've guessed it that's abusive and cowardly
Cutting someone off because you can't be a decent human and give even one fuck about someone isn't okay
That pain you are feeling in your self hate isn't nice but why would you want someone else to feel any self-loathing you do?
Let's be honest here if you ghost you're a total cunt
You're a selfish, low down fuckwit
Explain and let someone talk
Give someone peace, let them ask you things
It's therapeutic and should be for both sides
Things shouls always be able to end on a good note
It makes the break that so much easier and why wouldn't you want that?
Dating can be really good for the soul
You learn about yourself
You learn what you are looking for
What attracts you and what doesn't
So it may not all go well
But you can wish each other well
You can still remain, friends,
It can be healthy
People I dated maybe even once remain, friends, even years on
That feels fantastic
The word love shouldn't be used so freely
You don't love me after a week you lust me
You lust my body and you lust who I am
Don't rush it, stay safe
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